Chris has been such a dick to Sarah. They just got their income tax back and he blew it all on himself, drugs, video games... but not on her or his girls. Sarah needs to stand up to him or leave him, but she started young and feels trapped and is just plain too good for him.
Judy was in the hospital again, bitch just doesn't take care of herself, which is another reason why she disappoints me so much.
Sarah admits to me she thinks about being with me despite my age and weight and everything, but feels guilty about even thinking about it because of Judy, and is afraid because she feels guilty about Chris, and doesn't want to hurt Judy, and I know she wants Judy as well.
Chris haunts her all the time and she can't shit without him up her ass, the verbally abusive bastard.
Wouldn't cloning be a nice option?
She ate out a girl a while back and told Chris about it because even though she wasn't having sex with him, he still got an STD and blamed her for it, and I know the bastard cheats...
Now by cheating I mean fucking someone else, but that's for a sex only thing in the wrong way. I think a couple should choose together who they sleep with or include, and it should be like dessert, unless you both want to have a friendship/sexual relationship with them.
I almost put his lights out a few days ago when we went up to Food Lion to try to jump their car. He was so abusive, and I did tell him to simply shut his face as he was yelling at her like she was dirt in my car. He pissed away all that money, and just lies all the time.
Then Amanda, who has been stopping over after work sometimes. We're friends, but I'd love to have that progress into a sexual and partly romantic friendship, maybe something private just between she and I, because being together would show her how love was meant to be and she would give me part of what I'm missing. It would make life and celibaty easier to deal with.
Her sperm donor is a royal asshole and she's so much better than that, and a sexual companionship and lighthearted friendship would do worlds of good for her as well, because I think I know what she needs and can give it to her. I know she sees me without age like I see her without age. She's smart, just maybe lacking experience, and her drive gets to be a chore because of the muck she goes through, but her passion about how she see what is wrong with stuff like the state of politics and how people are just matches me so well.
I can't wait for her to get into college where she belongs. I think more than sex I just want to sleep and cuddle naked with her with a night of soft kisses and massage, and just enough sexual release that it can be forgotten, even masturbating for each other... but there it is... the idea of her naked, man, how could I not make such complete love to her? I would be the teacher-friend and she would be the comfort and release and touching part of my past. That's something Judy and I would have a hard time with each other over, but Judy could find it if she wanted, that "teacher/mentor/lover" thing, where you get to exercise your experience in a passing way and give part of yourself to someone for them to carry through their life. I could see Judy use her charms to fix a few young guys, but what I don't get is her using them on me. It doesn't matter how nice or anything I am, she usually just resides on the couch. Period.
Maybe I wouldn't think that if Judy threw herself at me like she wanted and needed me. I feel used. I think most guys would have run by now. But I have the hope that when she gets better she will. I don't know of many guys who would have stuck it out with her. I know I have my faults, but being depressed for so long has warped her and she doesn't even see it.
Maybe things will change. I guess that's why in part I have an attraction to girls a little younger, I see myself staying more young minded as I age, and know my abilities, and know what they could offer me and Judy and I together if she could get past her mindsets and do more to embrace mine, which were there long before her.
Age so much shouldn't divide lovers, quality of character should.
Yeah, I'm fucked by 20-30 years........