There are times I'm just so content and happy. Alex had a good day, and was wonderful to Sarah's girls when they all came over, and I made most of dinner, and had all of the girls crawling all over me, and Judy and Sarah were a little down, and I didn't mind it too much. I can pick up the slack. But this is what I'm talking about. The girls treat me and react and act with me like I am their dad, and in some areas I'm more of that for them than Chris. Alex is in a defiant spell and getting worse, and I need for Judy to see the need for a harsh hand and limits for him. He is spoiled like her and bitches about what he doesn't have instead of what he does, and that is all Judy. I try to explain it to her and get HUSH! She just refuses to listen.
Sarah goes through some of that with Chris, different but the same, and we relate to each other. She understands, but she doesn't tell Judy because she is so afraid of hurting their friendship. Judy holds back on Sarah sometimes for the same reason. They both just function and are so much happier when they are together, and that is something rare, to be so on the same page with someone who isn't out to backstab you. They are safer as well as friends. I'm pragmatic, and just want to see what works be allowed to work.
It eliminates my stress, much of it, just when they are together and dealing with things, because they motivate each other. I feel healthier and more relaxed. But getting Judy back to happy, even if I lived a lie and devoted my body to just hers, won't be complete without Sarah at this point, and Judy won't be either. Judy at her best would be amazing, and I want to see it lived instead of just in glimpses. They have the real makings of a lifetime ally and best friend, a total confidant. That is so rare. They need to realize just how special that is and put a marriage commitment to their friendship and companionship. The misconceptions about this being about my dick bothers me. I want the tenderness and companionship and to be their third wheel sometimes, and for Judy and I to be second parents to the girls, and even for Sarah to take a more assertive role with Alex, so we can have 3 to 1 odds there.
But here comes the Taoist again, whatever flows will flow, and be will be. I can only guide the boat. In the end, it is the currents of the river that determine exactly where I make landfall....