Overwhelmed

Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. Our car is running like shit, and is illegal, so I can't get to or look for work safely, and can't afford going to jail, period. Judy says she wants to work as a team, and I know she does, I just wish she would stay motivated.
Alex is being a brat, and when Judy babies him and he sees an out he will fight not to do his chores or homework, and then he walks all over her and is disrespectful, and Judy is so bent on non-confrontation that she creates it. I love her but we need to change the dynamics of it all.
Sarah says to me that if things were different that being together would be an option, and that the idea of being together interests her, and I know that if it did happen that what we have would grow into a warm and loving thing, and thing is I know that if Judy opened up to an expanded relationship where we all became one family that it would all work better. Friends do make the best lovers, and I know Sarah thinks of Judy as a friend maybe too much to get into bed with her, and Judy says she isn't like that but I see in her that if she was she'd be more content. If more friendships had that casual physical aspect that the friendships would be more bonding and the love that is the base of the friendship would grow in a healthy way to make people even closer.
I need a farm, a big house, a garden and a miniature golf course, and a king size bed to share with Sarah, or someone who could fill that role, and Judy, because they both honestly do bring out the best in each other and they function better when they are together.
I'd be happy to be a father to her girls, and Judy already fits into being a second mom to them, and I think it is natural for that kind of tribe or clan relationship thing. It works.
And while the pure sexual desire aspect of it would be great, I want that expanded relationship. because I can see how well it would work. I love sex with my wife, and get angry because I want a woman who will seduce me and take me by the hand just to share pleasure and romance and loving lust together, and I spend too many nights alone, without the touch I need to quell me and relax and satisfy me. I crave passion and warmth, and get angry because Judy withholds that aspect of marriage when that is the very thing that heals and binds, and Sarah doesn't get that either, but the conflicts and drama of the present day would be so greatly reduced by the three of us being one family, because there would always be mitigation and resolution that comes from a third party interceding, and giving input.
I also think, if they let friendship get physical between them, that the touch and massage and companionship and bonding that comes from being physical would be healing to them for each other.
Judy says it's emotional, but part of it is her mental-pause, and some of it our relationship and her bags, but she needs to drop the bags and just be happy for what she has...
They both should maybe get dressed up, find some cute guys, and go enjoy the ego trip. Something empowering for them both to share.. which could be done non-sexually as well. I just don't have the money to send them to Outward Bound or Hedonism.
Just getting wild without regrets and any ties, just for themselves for different reasons. Judy just to reawaken that lust desire and Sarah to see that there are other guys than her asshole husband.... change that to asshole, since a husband he is not.
But I think us all together would work because we all fit well together, and it feels like a big family when Sarah and Judy are together and her girls are here. I think it would be healthy for the girls as well, because they would get the attention they need and deserve, and besides, Judy can feel like she has a daughter.
People put too many divisions between them, too many stupid rules of conduct and expectations of a relationship.
My only concern in that is that Sarah isn't past stealing. But what the hell, Judy stole from a friend, and Sarah steals from us, and most of that IS the pills.
I never though Judy would steal like that, and it makes me sad. She hurt herself and a good friendship because she couldn't control her pill problem, and she is just like a junkie.
If Judy can have her pills and I have to endure that, then she should be sending me sexual relief partners, just for putting up with the pill drama shit. If that isn't more of a betrayal, what is?
But I accept the flaws that make us who we are, because it means we can work at being better.