Sunday, April 5, 2009

More drama.....
Judy is out of it, and I have court tomorrow, and the electric might be off again in the morning, but Alex is doing much better attitude wise, and then again, Sarah is over with her two youngest. Some bull dyke bitch is staying with them, and is mistreating Sarah, and Chris is not being supportive, and Sarah really needs to get away from that shit. And Judy, maybe she is starting to see the depth of my love and devotion even though it may not be how she expected it, or according to the rules and beliefs she feels. Acceptance is the highest form of love. I love her despite this pill shit, and maybe love will cure that as well.
But changes are coming so fast, I feel the, coming.
I let Kenny read the parts of my journals that speak to my future visions, and so much of what I have seen has come to pass. It is a big reason why I don't worry so much, because I've seen things coming around. Who knows what it is in us that lets us glimpse the future, and I have it in spades sometimes. Just no instructions how to get there.
I believe in the power of love to transform life, and have the sense and experience to attain things, despite the sadness and anxiety I carry as I walk that way. It sucks waiting until 50 to get there, but it is in sight, and I'm watching the beauty unfold, with harsh birth pains.
Maybe the reason for the suffering to get there is the level of reward at the end.
Maybe the walk along the path is the reward.
Either way, I'm such a product of the dreams I've held so long and truth has a way of lighting the darkness.

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